Memories from Dave’s Community
Remembering Dave
Below is a collection of remarks and memories shared with us by members of the many communities Dave was a part of over the course of his life. Our hope is that through these submissions we can all continue to get to know Dave and honor his legacy. If you are interested in submitting your own reflection or memory of Dave, please do so via the link below
Submitted Reflections
“Dave was truly one of the first people & friends in my life that encouraged me to truly use my voice, that what I had to say mattered and that he cared to hear. I was so shy heading into college and hesitated so much in sharing opinions about anything, that this meant the world. Dave truly saw me, my hesitations, and unsureness in myself and throughout our friendship always made sure to encourage me to speak up, to let him know my thoughts. This has been one of biggest gifts in my life.”
— Katherine Stephens (Gordon College)
“During the last conversation with Dave on Sunday [before he passed away] I referred to a text message he had sent about reading the book "minor feelings" about the Asian American experience. I kind of chuckled and said "it's ok!! I recommended that a whole year ago! Don't worry about things like that anymore just rest!" To which he responded that he cared and wanted to learn more because of the Asian Americans in his life that the loved.. that he wanted to do better and be a better friend for us. "I want to do the work." I've been reflecting on that moment a lot. What about example Dave was of a lifelong curious learner always seeking to be a better person, how willing he was to always "do the work" not because he wanted to be righteous but because it was driven by love... how even in some of his very last moments on Earth he had deep empathy and was thinking about his friends.”
— Emily Chi (Harvard University)
“I was thinking about how it was always easy to be around Dave. I don’t know if our friends just had such a strong bond in college, but I feel like I wouldn’t see Dave for long periods of time, whether that be when he was in Oxford or China or he was on the east coast and I was out in California but it was always easy to just get back in a rhythm when it came to seeing Dave. I always felt comfortable being around him. He was a safe place and I think that was the case for a lot of people.”
— Steven Kennedy (Gordon College)
“To me, Dave was like the sun — his bright nature in thought and spirit allowed everyone around him to feel loved, heard, and empowered. He challenged me to think differently and encouraged me to do the impossible, to tear down the most rigid fences. He always believed in my dreams, no matter how grandiose. I am not the same person I was 10 years ago because of the impact that he has made on my life, an impact that will remain in my being for eternity. His bravery, vibrancy, and voracity for life will be forever carried in my heart, and his resounding laughter and joy will forever reign as a Guiding Light for me, and so many.”
— Camille Chapman (Gordon College)
“Dave was one the most honest and courageous students I’ve ever had. He asked himself the hard questions and challenged his own perceptions and worldview and he did it long before he would ever challenge another person’s beliefs. As a result, Dave was rich - he was rich in conviction, rich in love, and rich in commitment. He never settled for cheap versions of morality, friendship, or faith. In many respects, the hard work that he put into his own mind and soul made him the fullest young person I’ve known to date. And I think it’s fair to say that if he’d been given another 70 years, the world would’ve been a lot richer, in all the right ways, because of him. But what we’ve received from him is enough to feed 1,000 malnourished souls for a lifetime. May we love as he loved. May we see others as he saw others. May we feel and care as he did.”
— Dave Walker (Church of the Saviour)
“I taught him [Dave] last fall, and knew him from the joint HKS/HLS degree program. I know you are hearing from so many of his classmates, and I wanted to add the perspective of a faculty member to confirm what a terrific student and community member Dave was. In class, he did not dominate the conversation in the way some students do, whether their comments are valuable or not. Dave was never like that—he was thoughtful and smart, and when he spoke, he added insights that always moved the class forward. He was also loved and appreciated by his classmates—you could see that even through Zoom.”
— Sarah Wald (Professor, Harvard University)
“I had a dream about David last night that I thought I would share to let you know that he’s still in countless hearts - and I would like to believe, also alive with God.
In my dream, I was at a banquet, but not participating — just observing. I don’t know why or where. The tables went on forever — it felt like we must have been in a massive hall. People were crammed in next to each other and across from each other, eating and having lively conversations. Someone very near to me said, “Look over there.” I saw David at the table, healthy, smiling, calmly chatting with people across the table from him. The voice near me (out of sight) said, “See, he’s alive. He’s okay!”
I woke up today and forgot about the dream until now. It feels like a gift I shouldn’t keep to myself. David was so loved and is missed by so many. He felt like a little brother in many ways, not only because he dated one of my close friends in his first year at Gordon: we both loved and studied philosophy and theology and policy; he went to Oxford the year after me; he worked at The Trinity Forum soon after me; he went to China a few years after me (and for much longer than I did); and we both pursued law school and public policy degrees… We shared passions for music, dancing, trying new food, traveling to new places, reading, connecting people— but especially having meaningful conversations about things that matter and the big questions about life and existence and what we’re doing in this world.
I will always think of David as an example of what it looks like to live a fully human life on this earth. I am having my first baby next year, and if they grow up to be anything like David, I will count myself richly blessed as a mother. All the things I care about have some connection to David and always will.”
— Tala Strauss (Gordon College)
“It was such an honor to know David. He is one of the most courageous and accomplished people I have ever met. We had many (albeit too few) conversations about China, law, life and much more. I learned a great deal from him and hope that I was able to contribute, however modestly, to his great quest for learning and international understanding. He was so smart, but even more importantly, such a kind and generous person.”
— Bill Alford (Professor, Harvard School of Law)
“His life continues to be impactful and it has taught me that a legacy has nothing to do with numbers of years of a life but is determined by the positive affect a person has had on others, especially if they have made others stronger and better human beings. David’s life continues to help me get through one of the most difficult periods of my life. His courage, bravery and tenacity have reminded me each day that I can, with many more decades of life than he was given, be a better and braver and more patient person. He has whispered comforting thoughts and words to me even though we have never spoken. His life’s journey; as seen through the eyes of others, his podcasts and the powerful and eloquent tributes at his funeral, have been the messages that have guided me.”
— Sussannah Kelly
“Dave interned last summer with my chambers team. In just a few weeks, Dave left a bright, warm and indelible impression on each of us. Quite a feat for a person that none of us had ever met in person, and with whom we worked for just 10 weeks. That was who this exceptional individual was, whom none of us will ever forget, and who left us far too soon.
In my office, we seek to do extraordinarily thorough and rigorous work. We also seek to have a good—and, importantly, fun—time doing so, and to work as a team, helping each other out. In these two core respects, Dave was the perfect fit.
I’m sharing this to let you [the family] know that there were so many other people in contexts of which you may have been only passingly aware of in which this this extraordinary man touched their lives… I can only hope that it may bring some small comfort knowing that others shared, even if more fleetingly, in the gift of Dave’s exceptional life”
— Judge Timothy M Reif, US Court of International Trade
“Dave was total goof ball - we had that in common. He got a lot of joy from the unconventional and from the joy of others. So many memories have made me smile this week: he would bring a French press to class, make coffee under his desk (!), and then text me saying to pass my mug down. He let me convert his name to DJ Live, Laugh, Love for my 29th birthday just because I got a kick out of it. At all our parties, he would spend the whole night DJing, focused on making sure others were having fun. No matter how big the event, if he was the DJ he would play me “Hey Juliet” by LMNT (even though it was really not his cup of tea), just cause he loved much I loved it. He had an incredible smile and laugh.
Dave was also the first person who made me feel at home at HKS. I bet a lot of people reading this could say the same. He had a unique ability to make everyone around him feel important. He listened, he asked questions, he showed me what it is like to be a good friend. Sitting across from him, you always knew you were the center of his attention. He was never on his phone, or thinking about all he had to do later. He was focused on what you had to say. He would ask these deeply personal questions- which, I must admit, took some getting used to. But he led with vulnerability and proved how deep friendships can be if you opened up to his unconventional relationship-building ethos. “Vulnerability begets vulnerability,” he said. He had an intuitive sense was something was wrong, and he thought talking about pain was the best the best way to get through it. He never shied away from other’s tears. He modeled this as he publicly shared his battle with cancer, hoping that sharing his journey could help someone else. Even as his cancer progressed and his problems became far more difficult to grapple with than mine, he still insisted that I discuss them with him. He was there for others in their pain, even as the pain he was feeling was beyond what we could imagine.
If you’re still reading this, you’re probably one of my HKS friends. So to you: I have never been more grateful for this community than I have over the past month as we navigated Dave’s last days together. Dave himself said, “This can be community forming, it doesn’t have to be isolating.” I am so grateful that the fates sorted me into Alpha - a group Dave treasured. He once texted me this picture of him in his robe - he really loved that robe. Not because it was so soft (although it was!) but because it was from us and it represented how much we loved him. We are all lucky to have known him and seen firsthand what it looks like to live a life centered around people, community and relationships.
One night early on at HKS, Dave found me crying in the library. We had a lot of assignments due the next day. Most guys would have pretended not to see, but Dave wasn’t like most guys. He packed up his backpack, made me pack up mine, took me to Flour, bought me something chocolatey, and told me to talk about it. I cried for more than an hour. A lot of things stood out to me in that moment: We had only known each other a month, but our friendship was already more important than the HKS deadlines that the rest of us were SO stressed about. He never lost sight of what mattered, even while the rest us has shifted our priorities to problem sets and negotiations cases. That night in October 2018, long before his diagnosis, as he talked me through my pain, he told me his philosophy: “never let a tragedy go to waste.”
Yesterday at his funeral, his dad said that his friends are his legacy. Imagine what the world could be like if we all chose to live our lives a little more like Dave. This was a tragedy - one we will never get over - but in the wise words of our brilliant, beautiful friend, “never let a tragedy go to waste.”
— Michaela (Harvard University)
“I met Dave in Shanghai when he became a part of our church small group. I was honored that he gave access to me to his journey in his final years, battling and thinking and I'd say growing, through our small group mens' WeChat chat and through his blog.
I have been thinking a lot about Dave and he has made me think a lot, too - an effect I now know he has on many people. How he lived through cancer was and continues to be an amazing inspiration to me, but it would be shallow to only mention his courage. It was the audio clip from the podcast he did with Harvard which you played at the memorial service that captured the richness of his person during that journey. I had listened to the two-part podcast the week prior and after hearing it again I felt I understood more of him and that's what I'd like to share with you.
Dave's courage wasn't the kind that we see in Marvel superhero movies, where superhuman strength or some other gift enabled him to face darkness. He lived with a kind of fierceness that came from being completely honest about his human nature. He lived without trying to be someone other than himself, all the while acknowledging his human desire to do so. It is a quality that I hope to emulate. Frankly, I think Dave was living out that quality even before he had cancer. What is more striking to me, and what adds to the depth of that quality of his, is his choice to invite God to fill him. This was in the face of the reality of pain that he dealt with on a daily basis, when his physical self was being stripped away. He became Christ, in the sense that he lived without trying to be even his own self, only God. Dave was Christ-like to me in that way, and I'd say it is the ultimate way I have ever seen anyone in my life do it. I hope I can emulate this quality of Dave's, too, though frankly it is so difficult that I have limited confidence. But for Dave I wish to give it my best effort, because I think of it as a way to carry a piece of him with me going forward.
I feel blessed to have known Dave. At the same time, I want to say that to bless others wasn't the reason for his existence, and I don't subscribe to the idea that it could be a reason for his cancer and death. Like you, I do not understand the reasons for what happened to him. I perhaps will never understand. It seems to stand in such outrageous opposition to the idea of a loving God. As I was reflecting on the memorial service last night, I recalled something a wise mentor said to me once. She told me that the best lies are partial truths. This echoes a Chinese saying of "the blind touching an elephant", based on a story of a group of blind men arguing with one another what an elephant looks like based on a different part of the animal each person touches. I thought last night, with a twist to this idea, that maybe Dave's passing feels like such a lie because it is part of a bigger Truth. Perhaps misfortune and suffering are integral parts of our broken human existence, but they are not all of our human existence. Perhaps human existence in its fullest form is Christ. Perhaps we are all just blind. I don't know the answers, but I wouldn't be surprised if Dave found the Truth that he so fervently sought after his entire life, and his eyes were opened in the end, gleaming with light as they always have and always will whenever I remember his face.”
— Nick Liao (Shanghai friend)
“As a friend, Dave knew when to listen and when to speak. Some of my most meaningful memories with Dave are not only times where he spoke great wisdom directly into my life, but also times where I remember feeling profoundly heard and understood by his quiet listening. It is from his posture of being a phenomenal listener that Dave was able to then identify questions that would in turn free his friends from any burden they were shouldering alone. This quality of Dave’s deeply impacted my life, and I’m sure I am not alone in that experience.
As a male friend—seeing an example of a man who found such strength in companionship and honesty was extraordinarily freeing. Dave was for many of us the one who we could come to with anything—without fear of judgement or a need to sweeten our delivery of hard or uncomfortable news. He carried this same transparency with him through his last days—sharing one week before he died that “that’s been my hope…to be as brutally honest as possible—and if that can allow someone down the line who I love and care about to experience some level of [capitol T Truth]…that would mean the world to me”. Dave was also never too proud to ask for help. With all the needs I brought to Dave as a friend over the years, I’m so grateful that our friendship did not become one-sided. I cherish that he respected me enough that despite my own fragile moments he still displayed an eagerness to seek my wisdom and insight. Dave displayed confidence in his friends and honored us by being open about how we could support him.
Dave was a beautiful paradox in that he was a consummate professional with an impressive resume all the while maintaining a beautiful goofiness that would particularly showcase itself on the dance floor. He loved to buck the system by challenging the norm and by always being productively mischievous. Dave was always close to leadership in all the circles that he danced between—not in an effort to self-aggrandize, but just to chip away at change in his remarkably smart and persistent way.
Dave had a deep sense of spiritual sincerity. Dave’s relationship to his faith brought a welcome breath of transparency for Christian believers of his generation and beyond. Dave was also a judgement-free spiritual companion for anyone in all realms of beliefs. Dave decided at a very young age to ground himself in spiritual wonder and possibility. At one point Dave desired to be a pastor—and I’m convinced that though he rarely preached from a pulpit, the way Dave chose to live his life allowed others to access that capitol T Truth he sought so fervently.”
— Mark Spooner (Friend)
“I met Dave in college when I was processing some really hard stuff. In fact, Dave was the first person to ask about, listen to, and believe that hard stuff. He wasn’t afraid of me or what had happened to me. He wasn’t tired of listening to me. He was there and he cared and he was my friend. Dave used to tell me all the time “You’re wonderful.” Lately I’ve been thinking about that and wishing I could hear him say it one more time. I’ll never forget what a strong example of friendship Dave gave us all: listen, don’t give up, affirm, stick with it. All the way through. Dave, you’re wonderful too.”
— Ash Busone Rodriguez (Gordon College)
“I had the privilege of working with Dave while he was a student at Gordon and then staying in touch for years after that. Dave always impressed me with his warmth, his intelligence, his fearless faith, and his commitment. We worked together on a number of projects, but I especially appreciated Dave's desire to see Gordon become more global and a number of donor proposals we worked on together around this issue and a number of global leaders he helped me host on campus. I still cannot believe he is gone, but as I see Gordon continue to deepen its global engagement, I think of Dave and his impact on our campus.”
— D. Michael Lindsay (Gordon College and Taylor University President)
“I find myself thinking of David often, almost every Sunday in church during worship. It’s nearly impossible for me to separate love of music & Jesus from my friendship with David. Growing up, we led worship music & read the Bible together. We even had our own high school band. And countless silly memories. We had more time apart as we got older, but never that far apart. Always a call or message away. Old friends, good friends. Foundational to each other’s identity and being. As we near the anniversary of his return Home, I am thankful for David as an eternal brother in Christ & am comforted knowing he is with our Lord right now, waiting for the rest of us. I miss him & love him. Thank you, David, for your friendship and for how God flowed through you to people like me & everyone else you touched in your life. Rest easy until I see you again.”
— Eric Marturano (Friend)
“David and I became friends during our senior year of high school. We spent quality time together - working the same shifts at Handel’s Ice Cream, using free periods in the school library to study/goof off, bonding over our shared love of music and what artists we were into at the moment. We were able to play music together as well, memories I hold dear. The amount of people whose lives were touched by his thoughtful, kind and enthusiastic nature is a testament to his magnetic, incredible soul. I consider our friendship to be one of the greatest gifts of my lifetime. We are all fortunate beyond measure to have known David.”
— Alex DeLuccia (High School Friend)